January 12 - Lindsay Benefit Concert

"First performances" can be terrifying. It usually isn't until the third or fourth performance that I begin to feel comfortable playing a piece in public. Or ... in the case of the Ligeti etude (the one featured on my video page), it wasn't until the 12th, 13th ... no, the 31st go that I finally could perform the piece without having a nervous breakdown before the concert. :)

Tonight I performed the Saint-Saens Fourth Piano Concerto for the first time. In attempt to quell my nerves, I made certain I was over-prepared. I could do my octaves blindfolded, I could play the difficult passage-work backwards, and my toes could have played the slow sections in my sleep. Still, on stage, my heart was racing like a trapped mouse. ... a. trapped. mouse.

That unbelievable heart rate, however, can provide a performer with a working environment unlike anything he or she is bound to find in the practice room: a slower perception of time! So while I'm up there wondering why the piece feels weirdly sedated, the audience is out there forced into the cushion of their backrest by the velocity of the thing. So while I'm up there watching my hands stroll around the keyboard and occasionally fretting over a missed note, the audience is out there wide-eyed, wondering how my hands managed to be in two places at once. Yes, tonight's performance had that energy that comes hand-in-hand with a first performance.

I also had the pleasure of performing a set of two-piano pieces with my former piano teacher. Kim Craig is an amazing woman: she can organize innumerable details at the last minute, catch a falling piano with remarkable grace, and simultaneously tug at your heartstrings and knock you in the funny bone while seated at the piano. Kudos to Kim!